Regardless, I just wanted to share that today is my little girl's birthday. Because of her, I want my faith to shine through every day, moment and thing that I do. She inspires me.
Happy Birthday baby girl!!!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Birthday Wishes!
Today is a magical day. One of my favorite days in the whoooole wide world! Today is my oldest daughter's birthday. 8 years ago I struggled with one of the hardest decisions of my life. As a 17 year old, I wasn't sure that I was ready for a kid. Her "dad" was not the most supportive person, was on drugs and we constantly fought over everything. It was the most stressful pregnancy ever. At the end of 9 months of H-E-Double Hockey Sticks....there she was. The most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. Healthy as could be (which was a shock considering all the things I did and went through in my pregnancy that was NOT healthy). She was truly a miracle. I guess I could say from that moment, I started to have a bit of faith building in me. There was hope for better things.
Regardless, I just wanted to share that today is my little girl's birthday. Because of her, I want my faith to shine through every day, moment and thing that I do. She inspires me.
Happy Birthday baby girl!!!
Regardless, I just wanted to share that today is my little girl's birthday. Because of her, I want my faith to shine through every day, moment and thing that I do. She inspires me.
Happy Birthday baby girl!!!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Leaping Away
3 years ago, I first met my husband. We were both in a state of our lives where we weren't sure where to go, what to do, how to help ourselves or even what to think at times. We were just living. Waking up, going to work, coming home and going to bed. There was no passion.
My husband had just suffered a brain hemorrhage near his Cerebellum. Amazingly, he was able to greatly recover by the time I had met him which was just a month or two later. He also has familial polyposis, which required him to have his large intestines removed in high school. I remember being in awe of him and his story. What he had been through, the things he had endured at his young age. He had such strength. Yet, he still wanted more in life. I can remember the late night talking and texting (our schedules were opposite at the time, so the only time we really had to talk was late at night). I would stay up til the wee hours of the morning just to keep him company on his overnights. Even before we met, I had the feeling of a 16 year old girl having her first crush. I had NEVER felt this way about a person. EVER.
We finally decided to meet...in person. We like to joke that our first date was when he fell head over heels for me, because he literally just about fell on his face on our way out the door of our first date. I saved him...like any princess would save her prince! I remember talking about God on our date. Neither one of us really having a relationship, knowledge, or complete faith in him yet, but knowing 100% that He brought us together for something. Whether it was just to play hockey, be friends, whatever, we knew something big was in the works.
A few months later, he told me that the girl he was seeing before me, was pregnant, and that it was his. I remember seeing him so vulnerable, scared and at a loss of words because he didn't want to lose me. At the time though, all I could think was that he accepted my daughter into his life, and I couldn't turn my back on him when he was going to have a child of his own. It was quite obvious the mother of this child and him would NEVER be back together.
Because of his medical history, at the time he wasn't sure if he wanted involvement or wanted a child period, and I get it. He went through a lot of pain and suffering with his medical issues. He didn't want his kid to go through that same ordeal. We ended up breaking up for a short time because of this event. I couldn't be with someone who wasn't willing to take the responsibilities of getting someone pregnant, regardless of their feelings on their medical problems. I dealt with that with my own daughter's father, I would not support it by dating someone who would be termed a "dead beat dad". Being together with a person who would just abandon their child did not seem like the right thing to do though. So we took a break.
We still talked, texted, went to church together and played hockey. Did all the normal things friends would do, but left it at that, friends. Really good friends. My best friend. I dated another guy for a short period between who ended up being the complete wrong person, was over obsessive and wouldn't leave me alone - EVER. Eventually, my parents kicked me out of their house along with my daughter. The ONLY person I could think of turning to was my best friend. My now husband. Even though I was dating this other guy, I couldn't get my best friend off my mind. I KNEW God had a hand in this, that he put him in my heart. So, I broke up with the one guy, and decided I would move in with my "reunited" boyfriend and his parents until we were able to buy a house (which at the time I was already in the hunts for).
Talk about awkward, moving in with a guy you've known a short time in perspective of your overall lifetime, as well as his parents who you've only met as a stinky sweaty hockey player just coming off the ice. Awesome. We did it though. My daughter and I had no other choice. A short time after that I began having a lot of pain in my "lady parts". My uterus felt like it was going to explode. I went to multiple doctors, and finally through a word I heard at our alpha course I determined myself that I had Endometriosis. The level I had it at was super painful. To the point where I was balled on the floor for half of my day. I didn't think I would make it through.
Now, again, talk about awkward. Just move in with this guy and here I am having a bunch of girl issues. Nonetheless, he stood by my side. He went to the doctors with me. He held my hand through it all. He had FAITH we would get through this thing. So, eventually after going to multiple doctors and getting multiple results, NO answers, and people saying "I'm too young for Endometriosis," we finally found a doctor who was willing to listen. He took me and my pain seriously. He wanted me on the operating table immediately. So, I went in for surgery, had it removed and at my post-op was told that if I ever wanted to have children again, it was kind of now or never. At this point, my "boyfriend" and I had bought a house, lived together, and knew we would be married at some point. This gave us a shove though. We KNEW God brought us together. We KNEW God had a plan for us. So we leaped.
Four short months after my surgery and buying a house, was the day we leaped. August 6th, 2011. An AMAZING day! Ask anyone who was there, it was AWESOME!
We didn't want to try for a baby until we were married, because according to the Bible, that's how it was to be done. We did our best to not even do the "hibbity dibbity" before we got married. We aren't perfect though...so don't judge. Anyhow, as a couple, that was our first LEAP! And boy what a leap it's been. One of these days, I'll get to share our wedding day. The magic that took place, and how from that day forward we knew that what we were doing was right. That God really did bring us together. He really did have a meaning for our lives and a love for us.
We leaped. Into His arms and into His love.
My husband had just suffered a brain hemorrhage near his Cerebellum. Amazingly, he was able to greatly recover by the time I had met him which was just a month or two later. He also has familial polyposis, which required him to have his large intestines removed in high school. I remember being in awe of him and his story. What he had been through, the things he had endured at his young age. He had such strength. Yet, he still wanted more in life. I can remember the late night talking and texting (our schedules were opposite at the time, so the only time we really had to talk was late at night). I would stay up til the wee hours of the morning just to keep him company on his overnights. Even before we met, I had the feeling of a 16 year old girl having her first crush. I had NEVER felt this way about a person. EVER.
We finally decided to meet...in person. We like to joke that our first date was when he fell head over heels for me, because he literally just about fell on his face on our way out the door of our first date. I saved him...like any princess would save her prince! I remember talking about God on our date. Neither one of us really having a relationship, knowledge, or complete faith in him yet, but knowing 100% that He brought us together for something. Whether it was just to play hockey, be friends, whatever, we knew something big was in the works.
A few months later, he told me that the girl he was seeing before me, was pregnant, and that it was his. I remember seeing him so vulnerable, scared and at a loss of words because he didn't want to lose me. At the time though, all I could think was that he accepted my daughter into his life, and I couldn't turn my back on him when he was going to have a child of his own. It was quite obvious the mother of this child and him would NEVER be back together.
Because of his medical history, at the time he wasn't sure if he wanted involvement or wanted a child period, and I get it. He went through a lot of pain and suffering with his medical issues. He didn't want his kid to go through that same ordeal. We ended up breaking up for a short time because of this event. I couldn't be with someone who wasn't willing to take the responsibilities of getting someone pregnant, regardless of their feelings on their medical problems. I dealt with that with my own daughter's father, I would not support it by dating someone who would be termed a "dead beat dad". Being together with a person who would just abandon their child did not seem like the right thing to do though. So we took a break.
We still talked, texted, went to church together and played hockey. Did all the normal things friends would do, but left it at that, friends. Really good friends. My best friend. I dated another guy for a short period between who ended up being the complete wrong person, was over obsessive and wouldn't leave me alone - EVER. Eventually, my parents kicked me out of their house along with my daughter. The ONLY person I could think of turning to was my best friend. My now husband. Even though I was dating this other guy, I couldn't get my best friend off my mind. I KNEW God had a hand in this, that he put him in my heart. So, I broke up with the one guy, and decided I would move in with my "reunited" boyfriend and his parents until we were able to buy a house (which at the time I was already in the hunts for).
Talk about awkward, moving in with a guy you've known a short time in perspective of your overall lifetime, as well as his parents who you've only met as a stinky sweaty hockey player just coming off the ice. Awesome. We did it though. My daughter and I had no other choice. A short time after that I began having a lot of pain in my "lady parts". My uterus felt like it was going to explode. I went to multiple doctors, and finally through a word I heard at our alpha course I determined myself that I had Endometriosis. The level I had it at was super painful. To the point where I was balled on the floor for half of my day. I didn't think I would make it through.
Now, again, talk about awkward. Just move in with this guy and here I am having a bunch of girl issues. Nonetheless, he stood by my side. He went to the doctors with me. He held my hand through it all. He had FAITH we would get through this thing. So, eventually after going to multiple doctors and getting multiple results, NO answers, and people saying "I'm too young for Endometriosis," we finally found a doctor who was willing to listen. He took me and my pain seriously. He wanted me on the operating table immediately. So, I went in for surgery, had it removed and at my post-op was told that if I ever wanted to have children again, it was kind of now or never. At this point, my "boyfriend" and I had bought a house, lived together, and knew we would be married at some point. This gave us a shove though. We KNEW God brought us together. We KNEW God had a plan for us. So we leaped.
Four short months after my surgery and buying a house, was the day we leaped. August 6th, 2011. An AMAZING day! Ask anyone who was there, it was AWESOME!
We didn't want to try for a baby until we were married, because according to the Bible, that's how it was to be done. We did our best to not even do the "hibbity dibbity" before we got married. We aren't perfect though...so don't judge. Anyhow, as a couple, that was our first LEAP! And boy what a leap it's been. One of these days, I'll get to share our wedding day. The magic that took place, and how from that day forward we knew that what we were doing was right. That God really did bring us together. He really did have a meaning for our lives and a love for us.
We leaped. Into His arms and into His love.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
In the beginning...
When I look back to 3 years ago now, it's crazy to think what I have been through, along with my family. 3 years ago I found God. Desperately trying to fix my life, I found him. I guess moving back in with your parents really changes a girl ;) I guess it wasn't some spectacular story. I lived on my own with my daughter. We ended up moving in with a roommate who went a bit crazy on us, and so I had no choice but to move us in with my mom and step-dad.
THIS is when I started going to church. When I needed something to help me. I was ready for anything at this point. A miracle. And I found it.
1st service I went to. WHEW! It was a doozy. 4th of July. Pastor talkin about freedom. Wrote about some of this in my first blog. Needless to say, I walked out a sobbing mess and ready to give mine and my daughters life to Christ.
Now again, in the early days I wasn't the best "Christian" example. It was summertime, I was 22, beer is good. I was still called though. Called to go to church, to worship, to pray, to meet other people. Along side me was a guy I started dating, who I'm lucky enough to now call my husband. When we first met, we were both finding Christ. It's been a journey we've taken very much together, hand in hand. Looking back, there's no one I would rather do it with than him. My husband has built my faith, from the beginning and he continues to every day.
It's amazing how far we have come. Battled. Continue to battle and come out on top. In 3 years, my husband and I have been through more than most relationships go through in 10 years. I'll get into a lot of it at some point...but from the beginning...this guy...
THIS is when I started going to church. When I needed something to help me. I was ready for anything at this point. A miracle. And I found it.
1st service I went to. WHEW! It was a doozy. 4th of July. Pastor talkin about freedom. Wrote about some of this in my first blog. Needless to say, I walked out a sobbing mess and ready to give mine and my daughters life to Christ.
Now again, in the early days I wasn't the best "Christian" example. It was summertime, I was 22, beer is good. I was still called though. Called to go to church, to worship, to pray, to meet other people. Along side me was a guy I started dating, who I'm lucky enough to now call my husband. When we first met, we were both finding Christ. It's been a journey we've taken very much together, hand in hand. Looking back, there's no one I would rather do it with than him. My husband has built my faith, from the beginning and he continues to every day.
It's amazing how far we have come. Battled. Continue to battle and come out on top. In 3 years, my husband and I have been through more than most relationships go through in 10 years. I'll get into a lot of it at some point...but from the beginning...this guy...
...has built my faith, my love and my passion for God. Of course it was the big man behind it all along, but he brought me a gift of awesomenes!
Somehow we just knew from the moment we met, we weren't meant to be together. Our journey started together, and will end together. It's a "LEAP OF FAITH" we took together.
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