Finding your first ounce of Faith

So, on a normal daily basis, most people put faith in themselves, their car, their job, their boss, their phone, and so on. It's great that we can put the amount of faith into these things that we do. For example,

1. I have faith that I will complete my homework tonight.
2. I have faith that my car will start and drive correctly to get me to work. 
3. I have faith that my job will still be there the next day. 
4. I have faith that my boss will see things through my eyes as a professional. 
5. I have faith that my phone will not die, and inform me of all my meetings and appointments. 

So, if we can put so much faith in these EARTHLY things, why is it so difficult to put our faith in something much bigger, stronger and smarter than we are? GOD. I find myself thinking I have control. I have the reigns, when in all reality, I don't. I don't even have one of the reigns. Life cannot be controlled by my hand alone.

I remember the first time I went back to church after who knows how many years. I went with a friend from work who I had asked about finding me a cool place to go. Luckily, the church he led me to was such an amazing church. I remember just walking in, and it was at a high school. So I'm thinking, "this should be veeery interesting." Alas....FREE coffee. Childcare. Friendly people. There was no judgement, no weird eyes, welcoming hands, pastors, ushers, etc. Which is the way church SHOULD be. Before the service started, we did worship (which in all reality was freaking awesome!). Live band, singing, people throwin their hands in the air, this church was where I was meant to be! My kind of style! So then we get into the sermon, and in my head I'm thinking "ok, here goes an hour of nothing" (while still being in a somewhat hung-over state). I should note that my first return to church happened to be on July 4th. To my surprise, the sermon got off to a ripping and roaring start talking about the Freedoms we have in our lives, and the Freedoms we have in our HEARTS. How when we let God in our hearts, we make freedom there. That's when the scars of depression, alcoholism, anger, fear can all start to wash away. When we can begin to let go of things and let God take the reigns. Let go, and Let GOD as one of my co-workers likes to say.

This was the first time that I, as an adult, accepted and welcomed God into my heart. As mentioned earlier, being the 22 year old I was, drinking was something I did well, let's just say often. So showing up to church a few times after that hung over was not unheard of. BUT - I accepted Christ! I made that first step of FAITH to say, yes, I will have you in my life. I will follow you. I will allow you to lead me. That first step has led to many, many more. 

So how do you take a first step of Faith? What a crazy and hard question to answer.

1. Find a good church - one that has small groups, is personal, takes church beyond your typical "Sunday Service"
2. Read your bible, find God's promises for you
3. Give your life to Christ with others
4. Get friends and family involved
5. JUMP IN! It's going to be a wild ride!

Now, I realize all of that is MUCH easier said than done, but a little prayer never hurt either. 

Hebrews 11:6  

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Faith in Love

Since it's Valentine's day today, I figured I could do a post on LOVE!

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

When do you stop to think of the love you have in your life? Of the people you love, and those that love you back. Of the kind of love, the amount, and the pain it can cause? I don't know about you, but I think about love quite a bit. It's a huge part of my every day life. From loving my husband, to my kids, to my family, to my friends, to my co-workers. The funny thing is, they're all so different. My husband receives a different type of love than my kids, and my kids different than my friends. It is all genuine, and very real. VERY real.

God loves us all as his children. We are his own, his blood, his creation. Imagine how much you love your child, or your spouse, or best friend. Now multiply that times 100. Then stretch it to the moon and back, around the earth, to the sun, and that still does not measure God's love for us.

For I am convinced that neither life nor death, neither angels nor demons, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)

So, if you're having a great Valentine's day, have big plans, don't forget to thank God for giving you the love you have in your heart. If you're not having a great Valentine's, don't have plans, and are looking for love, always remember, God's love is always there!

Starting on a long journey of Faith

Where does faith come from? How does it manifest in you? What kind of faith is there? Is it safe? Is it real? How does it work? How do I become a faithful person? 

These questions all come to mind when I think of the journey I've undertaken over the last several years. Before I get into all of that, let me introduce the story of how I got to the start of my Faith journey. 

Now, before I start all of that, let me be clear. By "FAITH" I am meaning Faith in God. In our Lord. Jesus Christ. Having faith in him, through him, and by him. 

I never thought growing up in high school that the person I am today would be who I really was. I would have laughed. I would have probably been on the floor hysterically laughing and crying had I seen back then who I am now. I would not have believed it.

Growing up, things were never easy. My mom was a single mom for the most part. My real parents got divorced when I was 2 or 3. Mom remarried, got divorced again because she married some crazy man who liked to abuse children. Now, fast forward a few years of living with just her and my sister, in a small town in Colorado. We were pretty happy. Content. Had fun together. One vacation year down to Mexico, my mom fell in "Looooove." The guy she fell in love with lived in Minnesota. So, after a few back and forth weeks between the two of them, with no hesitation what-so-ever, we packed up and moved to MN. Then back to CO. Then back to MN. Ended up it wasn't love, and so we just stayed here. I've lived here most of my life now, over half anyway. In the process of moving back and forth, my real dad was diagnosed with Colon cancer. At the time I was 7 years old and was not told a thing. It was hidden from my sister and I for a very long time. It wasn't until we learned he was having surgeries and doing chemo therapy that we had to figure out for ourselves at ages 10 and 11 what was going on with our Dad. Now, mind you my dad was a church-going man. He had his moments in life where he may not have been the greatest. But, in his last days all I can remember about him was seeing him in the church choir, singing. Or standing up at the front and giving sermon. Or helping cook food for the church. He was a church guy. Then one day my sister and I were thrown on a plane and sent to CO. I didn't want to go. I hated the fact we were going, because I knew what this meant. This was the last time we would see him. The last time we'd hear him. Kiss him. I was a wreck. 

Being that my dad was the "churchy" kind of guy (from what I remember anyway), after he passed away I was sooooo angry with God. So mad. How? WHY!?!? I could never embrace the love that God still had for me. I couldn't understand why he would do such a thing to me. It was heartbreaking. That's when my love for God disappeared. It washed away. 

Fast forward again. I'm 16. In high school. "A" Student. Hockey player. Cheerleader. Fun haver. And apparently trouble maker. I certainly didn't mean to...but ended up getting myself pregnant. So again, I ask God WHY?!?!?! HOW?!?!?! Mad at him that he didn't change my circumstances (because that was of course God's fault that I got pregnant at 16). Mad that I had to be responsible. Mad I would be missing out on a free ride to college. Regardless, I pressed on. I finished high school, went to college and got a 2 year degree, got an internship and have now been working at the same place for almost 5 years.

It got to a point in my life where nothing was going right. I was single. I was a Mom. I had a pretty poorly paying job and no where to go for another. It was the beginning of the recession so any job was great at that point. Things just felt empty though. I had been seeing a therapist since I was 11 when my dad passed away. Since things were on a down slope, I decided to start talking to her again. She pointed me to finding a church. Which I thought was just insanity. I know she prayed about it. Many times. I know my mom did too. After a while of her really nagging me about it, I did it. I found a church. I found a home. That was just the beginning to my story. The past 3 years have been emotional, spectacular, crazy, lovely, heart breaking, heart making and filled with Love from God. At this point, I'm not sure exactly what my plan is to talk about. I guess to really just reveal my journey and hope that somewhere along the way, it can help someone on theirs.

As 2 Corinthians 5:7 plainly spells out, We live by FAITH, not by site. That is what this is about. Living by faith. How I've done it, continue to, and will do for many years to come.