Christmas without HER

I remember the first Christmas without her. It felt like my heart was missing an entire piece, and that there was no hope for it to feel some kind of love again.
I remember the second. It was not a happy time. I missed my baby girl so much. All I wanted was to have her back. I was angry. Why her?
I am now to the third, but it's a different world. It's a different place. Having a new baby, but not having "your baby". The pride and joy you had, of THAT baby. There's nothing to show for it though besides old pictures and an urn. But it's ok.
I honestly can't think of a better time to sit and remember her. Her beautiful life. Her beautiful heart. Her beautiful mind. She was with us for a short time, but she made an impact on my life. On my husband's. On my entire family's.
Ariella.......Ariella.......Ariella.....Ms. Ariella Grace. Oh my. You just capture me. My heart. My love. Time does not heal the heart, but it does expand it. As I live every day, every moment, without you, I realize how much you mean to me. How much, in your short time here, I learned from you. I am just surprised.
I know God had a big part in it all. He is the chess master. But it never removes the love I have for you. It never removes the pain either. I'm so thankful to be your mom. To know that you're in my heart forever. Ms. Ariella Grace. You are always with me, and though I miss you, I am better this Christmas. I remember you and all that you have brought into my life. Like renewed joy, hope and love for others. I am still amazed by how you have touched my life, and others. You are missed sweet girl. Please comfort others through this holiday season and show them your light. I know you are always with me...my wish this Christmas is for you, my sweet angel, to reach others with your love and shine on them. Show them God's love and grace.

Miss you sweet girl. Merry Christmas in heaven.